What is self esteem? What do you mean by self esteem? The easiest answer to the question is “Believing yourself, accepting yourself and respecting yourself”. Now you can ask, “Is that it?” As I said- Yes, it is the easiest and common answer which is almost correct. But there are lots of other answers which you can find in the psychology of the book.
Human psychology is an interesting subject to study. The psychologists are researching for a long time to understand human psychology. They achieved a lot of vital information regarding human psychology but they can never come to a conclusion. Because they have found many similarities among the people they research but they are not all the same and they never can be. Self esteem is a central construct in clinical, developmental, personality, and social psychology. Its role in psychological functioning has been studied for many decades. Self esteem is an attractive construct in psychology because it predicts certain outcomes. It is one of the subjects that any personality researchers and mental health professionals like to study.
What is Self Esteem?
In psychology, the term “Self Esteem” is used to define one’s overall sense of self-confidence or personal value. In other words, how much you appreciate and respect yourself. It involves a variety of beliefs about yourself, such as the evaluation of your own appearance, skills, beliefs, emotions and behaviors.
It is very much important as it is linked with yourself. It is very easy to realize that how much self esteem is essential. We all want to like ourselves, prove ourselves, and have reasons to believe that our virtues and talents are recognized. We want others to see us as likable, competent, and trustworthy. But as you know over confidence is one of the seven deadly sins which can be interpreted as exaggerated self-esteem, is widely regarded as an undesirable personality trait.
in psychology, self esteem can also be categorized as positive or healthy self esteem and negative or low self esteem. Now how will you understand in which category you will be counted? Let’s discuss it below:
When you have healthy self-esteem, you tend to feel positive about yourself and your life in general. It makes you feel better to deal with life’s ups and downs.
Signs of Healthy or Positive Self Esteem
You probably have healthy self-esteem if you are more likely to:
Get rid of your past, negative experiences;
Express what you want;
Feel confident;
Have a positive attitude on life;
Say “no” when you want to;
Accept who you are;
Able to set boundaries;
Face the fear and not fear failure.
But on the other hand, too much self-love results in an off-putting sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures. It can also be a sign of clinical narcissism, in which individuals may behave in a self-centered, arrogant, and manipulative manner. Being positive is good but don’t get so much confidence that can harm your career and your life. So you have to learn to set boundaries between confidence and arrogance.
When your self esteem is low, you tend to see yourself and your life in a more negative and critical light. You also start feeling less able to take on the challenges that life throws at you.
Signs of Negative or Low Self Esteem
You may have low self esteem if you have the following characteristics:
You couldn’t get rid of your past or negative experiences;
You always believe that others are better than you;
You cannot express your needs;
You focus on your weaknesses and frequently experience feelings like shame, depression, or anxiety;
You have a negative attitude on life;
You have an intense fear of failure;
You have trouble saying “no”;
You struggle with confidence.
If you are familiar to the above characteristics, you should learn how to resolve it. Because sometimes success in life depends on self esteem.
Example
Suppose, you are a businessman and you invested in the oil market of Dubai a long time back. But unfortunately, the business did not go well and you went back from Dubai with a loss. After a few years, you have researched that the oil market of Dubai will be profitable to invest again and this time there is a very high percentage to make a profit. But your business partner offers you to invest in another country instead of Dubai. What will you do now? Your self-esteem depends on the answer.
If you go for Dubai again with full confidence by convincing your partner that you will make profit this time, this level of psychology indicates that you have a positive self esteem.
But if you feel fear because of the last time’s incident you faced in Dubai and listen to your partner and invest in other countries, this level of psychology indicates your low self esteem.
Self esteem can be defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. Some people think of self-esteem as their inner voice, the voice that tells you whether you are good enough to do or achieve something. Self esteem is actually about how you value yourself and your perceptions about who you are and what you are capable of. Many researchers who research psychology, have written on the dynamics involved in self esteem. Human psychology is a very complex subject. The subject and resource of “Human Psychology” are very rich but it is not complete and it will never be. As per the research of psychology, self esteem is mostly affected by family, friends, neighbors, and the surrounding environment.
Some family and surrounding environmental experiences that affect human psychology and lead to healthy self esteem are as follows:
Being spoken politely;
Receiving attention and care;
Being admired;
Being given high and achievable expectations;
Being taught that determination produces results, so obstacles should be accepted;
Being taught that failure should be welcomed, so disappointments are accepted;
Being appreciated for who you are.
On the other hand some family and surrounding environmental experiences that affect human psychology and lead to low self esteem are as follows:
Being strictly disciplined;
Being screamed at and ordered around;
Being disregarded and neglected;
Being given high but impossible expectations;
Being told that results depend on fortune, so helplessness is the outcome;
Being told that if you fail, which means you are not good;
Being compared to siblings or other children.
5 Tips To Increase Self Esteem
Low self esteem is unfortunately a self-filling prophecy. The worse you feel about yourself, the less motivation you will have to do what it takes to build your self esteem. To boost your self esteem, you need to identify the negativity you have about yourself and then challenge them. Which means you need to identify “WHY” before looking for “HOW”. That means you need to find out the questions before searching for answers. Self esteem is interrelated with psychology so you have to challenge your psychology to overcome the low self esteem you possess.
Everyone is in the favor of healthy self esteem but sometimes it can be surprisingly tough to cultivate. There are a lots of ways to increase self esteem.
05 (five) major tips to increase self esteem are as follows:
Believe in yourself: The first and foremost step in creating greater self esteem is to believe in yourself. It’s your responsibility to take control of your own self-concept and your beliefs including belief in your worth, talent, abilities and potential.
Identify your positivity and negativity and challenge your negative beliefs: The second major step to increase self esteem is to identify your positive and negative sides and challenge your negative beliefs. It is a good initial step to write down the positive things about yourself, such as nice things that people have said about you. When you start to feel low, read those things and remind yourself that there is plenty of good about you. If you find yourself thinking that “I am not good enough to do the task” start thinking that “I am not that bad to do the task”. It will grow your confidence.
Stay within positive relationships and avoid negative ones: You will surely find that there are certain people and certain relationships that make you feel better than others, and certain people and certain relationships that discourage you. The people who make you feel bad about yourself, just avoid them. Stay surround with people who make you feel good about yourself and encourage you.
Develop your physical health: Sometimes physical appearance matters to grow your self esteem. When you look your best, you will feel good. Many studies have revealed a connection between exercise and higher self esteem as well as improved mental health. However, people with low self esteem often neglect themselves because they do not feel that they deserve to be looked after.
Take failure as lesson and learn to move on: It is very common to be hard on yourself when you’ve failed. But if you can swing your thinking to understand that failure is an opportunity to learn that it plays a necessary role in learning and growth, it can help you keep perspective. Remember one thing that failure means you are trying to achieve. So don’t get upset and move on to your target using the experiences you gathered in your failure.
Examples
Example 1
You are new to Dubai. You don’t know anyone in the country and you have to find a job to live. In this situation, you have to believe in yourself and in your ability that if you try you will surely get a job of which you are expert in. If you do not have faith in yourself, you can never raise your head.
Example 2
You are very good at convincing people. But you believe that you are not a good looking person. You moved to Dubai for job. And you are being called to attend interview in a highly reputed company in Dubai. In this case, you need to apply your convincing ability to overcome your negative thought that you are not good looking. You need to challenge yourself to prove you wrong.
Example 3
You are about to start a company in Dubai. You are thinking to invest in the oil market as you researched that in Dubai, investing in the oil market is profitable. But some of your friends are not supporting you. They start to tell you to invest in Dubai is a risk. Rather do other things. In this situation, if you think you are right, you need to keep yourself away from those persons who are discouraging you and find and consult someone who will encourage and support you.
Being independent of your parents and being able to make your own decisions is considered one of the most important things for you as a teenager who is discovering your future. Your parents’ guardian behavior is driving you crazy, isn’t it? As a result, you may feel frustrated and angry.
What if I told you that you have more options than you think? Take a look around your daily activities and you will find that you have options like;
How you spend your time
Your study plans and daily assignments
Your choice of friends
Your future goals and your passion
And especially your beliefs!
You choose what you think is true for you and your world, you choose your view of others, your thoughts, and opinions that you have about the outside environment.
You choose what you feel, say, react, and behave.
I noticed that my client registered with Teen Coaching in Dubai didn’t realize how much he was in control and could only make decisions outside of his parents.
What is the definition of beliefs?
Beliefs are any idea that you believe to be true about yourself, others, and life.
Clarity and awareness of what you believe, what you want, and why you want it can be like a beacon on a clear night guiding you toward the realization of your dreams.
Unfortunately, most of us are unaware of our beliefs. Many of them are acquired when we were very young, and as we mature they affect our feelings, thoughts, and actions whether we know it or not.
The problem is, many of our beliefs can backfire.
A self-defeating belief does not support us, it does not help us.
An example of a self-defeating and unsupported belief can be found in the situation of a young woman who is repeatedly told that women are not business minded. This thought is etched into your subconscious mind and grows throughout your teenage years. Your perception and experiences are aligned with this impression and therefore reinforce it. The young girl goes to university, finds a job, and moves to a region experiencing a real estate boom. However, all the houses he finds are bad deals. Sometimes it is too late. His experiences coincide with the impression in his subconscious that he is not business-minded.
A second daughter learns that she can do whatever she wants and that she is entrepreneurial. Their experiences reinforce this impression. By the time she moves to the same neighborhood as the first daughter, she has already established several businesses. Discover incredible deals all over the city and get moving right away.
Our education, what we have been told and our experience shape our beliefs. These are the windows through which we see ourselves and the world and through which we govern the quality of our life.
Take a close look at it and identify any beliefs that are not supporting you and preventing you from living the life of your dreams. You can change your beliefs at any time if you want!
YOU MAY CHOOSE TO REPLACE OLD UNNECESSARY BELIEFS WITH NEW, SOUND AND SUPPORTIVE BELIEFS!
Tip # 1: Be aware of your old negative beliefs because those beliefs have kept you in your comfort zone. If you start to believe in yourself, you will go and try for the volleyball team. Of course, there is always the possibility that things will not turn out the way you want them to, and then you will have to face a disappointment, something that is outside your comfort zone. It is much more comfortable to stay where you are than to risk. Most people have inherent resistance in them, and that keeps them where they are with negative beliefs about me. Be aware of this resistance and be prepared to fight it! You are enough!
Tip # 2: Before you fall asleep and wake up, think about three positive thoughts about yourself. To help her remember to do this, write the number 3 on a piece of paper and place it next to her bed.
The levels of stress and anxiety among teenagers have increased dramatically over the past few decades. As the responsibilities of the world around them fall on them, more and more adolescents face both physical and emotional health challenges. As a parent, it is difficult to deal with these conditions, or often even to know that your teens are facing them. Many times it is easy to attribute teenage stress and anxiety to a child as normal teenage problems. However, there are often serious conditions that need to be treated as quickly as possible.
Student life got lots of stress and anxiety that negatively impact the wellbeing of teenagers. Which is one of the most important things I work on with teenagers in the sessions for student coaching in Dubai, intending to reduce their stress and build their resilience and coping mechanism
Why students suffer from anxiety
Teenagers, like adults, will experience both anxiety and stress for several reasons. First, these conditions can be inherited, and they can be much more likely to happen to them if their parents have had conditions like anxiety.
For the most part, teenagers and children who suffer from anxiety and stress have factors in their lives that lead them in this direction. For example, they may face exam stress, stressors at school, and even peer pressure. Although most parents don’t realize it, teens are under great pressure in many areas of their lives. Sometimes the body and mind react to these conditions in the form of anxiety and / or stress.
Symptoms to notice
Often these conditions can be overlooked. This is common because the symptoms associated with stress and anxiety are things most of us would associate with normal teenager behavior. However, you need to identify if a problem exists and treat it accordingly, as it can be detrimental to your long term health.
Symptoms of anxiety and high stress include:
Feelings of discomfort. Something doesn’t seem right although there is nothing wrong
Abdominal discomfort that does not appear to be from a physical condition
Dry mouth
A fast heartbeat that is not due to physical exertion
Difficulty breathing not associated with physical exertion
Tightening of the chest, which sometimes turns into a real pain
Diarrhea
Swallowing problems
Insomnia
Irritability or anger that seems unfounded
Fear
The feeling of not being in control
Inability to focus on tasks
How to help your teenagers to overcome exam stress?
Wither the stress due to exams, pressure due to education, or other school issues that your teenager may be facing, you should spare a good quilt of time to be closer to your child and support him or her.
Parents support
Praise, enthusiasm, positive comments, rewards, and a positive environment are just a few of the ways a teacher can help boost student motivation. Praise a student for positive efforts in the classroom encourages learning. Through praise, a student will understand that he is on the right track. Most of the time, praise will allow the student to do a good job.
Rewards also work well for motivating students. Students love to get candy from the teacher’s candy jar, or even a day without homework because of their good behavior in class. Student motivation can be achieved simply when the teacher awards a Gold Star to an A + exam.
Teachers support
While praise and rewards promote high levels of student motivation, positive teacher feedback is also essential. A teacher congratulating a student on a job well done or sending a letter to the student’s parents expressing how well their child is doing in school can be very motivating for the student. By giving positive feedback, a teacher can let a student know that they are doing well and can also suggest how a student can improve their weaknesses. Through feedback, the student will understand what the teacher expects.
The enthusiasm of the teachers increases the motivation of the students. When a teacher is excited about a subject, it can motivate students to learn.
Professional support
A Professional student coaching in Dubai or any other location is an essential investment for your teenagers, student coaching is a professional coach who stands out of the teenager circle and environment, partner with your child in a thought provoking process to unleash his protentional, reduce stress, set action plan and work toward achieving his or her goals
Stress in most jobs is inevitable. It can be caused by a very demanding boss or a coworker not doing their best. Or maybe you have a typically stressful position, like medicine or law. While a little stress at work can propel you to success and good health, too much stress can be very bad. It can cause a lot of health problems and be harmful.
For this reason, it is important that you learn effective stress management techniques at work. While many stressors may be beyond your control, such as dealing with your boss, there are ways to cope that could save your life. How to cope with stress at the workplace is an important point being covered in career coaching in Dubai
Researches say that Average working hours increased 8% in a generation, to 47 hours per week. One in five Americans works up to 49 hours per week. It can be a great source of stress, not only at work but also at home. Each year, a high divorce rate is attributed to long working hours. The same outcomes can be replicated in different countries especially in businesses hub such as Dubai.
How to cope with stress in the workplace?
Coping with stress is a resilient mechanism to accept the challenges. It is important to realistically assess the hours you work each week. Can you cut and still get the job done? Can you delegate your tasks to colleagues? Can you develop a more flexible schedule? If you consider these options, your work-related stress can decrease dramatically.
Overwork can cause many health problems. You may get sick more often, forcing you to report to work. Absenteeism from the workplace is costly for businesses, making workplaces less productive.
My career coaching clients in Dubai not only worry about their plans but also feel very stressed because they no longer feel safe in their jobs. Layoffs and business bankruptcies have exploded in recent years. With very little job security, employees live in constant fear of not having a job the next day. And because of this, people worry about their retirement funds. It is because of these factors that employees now have little loyalty to their employers, stressful for both parties involved. One of the cope with stress techniques is to evaluate your job security level. Which is reflected form your job performance evaluation, feedback received from your managers, understanding your organization’s mission, and align your goals with this mission? To cope with stress at the workplace does not me to withdraw and accept everything. It is about understanding what you can and can not control? What you can influence? How to accept what you can not control?
Because the work climate has changed, it is important that our own perspectives change as well. Employees should try to reduce their stress, even if they do not feel safe in their work. This happens through assisting the actual reality and truth of the workplace environment, dispute your negative thoughts, and build a strong resilience mechanism. This could mean opening a separate saving plan fund and making regular saving contributions.
If you work to be proactive, your stress levels will likely decrease. Face the fact that you are in charge of your destiny and take control of your future. You will feel a sense of freedom and less unhealthy stress.
Often times, stress will manifest itself when we transform yesterday’s worries into today’s worries. An accumulation will almost always end in a high level of stress. Therefore, we must be able to “let go” of all our worries from the day before or days before and focus fully on our today.
Where emotions and attentions go, energy flows. This what psychology researches emphasize on, what your conscious mind perceives as a threat will immediately activate the adrenaline in your mind and activate the defense mood which is programmed deep in your subconscious mind. In ancient times when humans been attacked by animals, the defense was a kind of fight or flight reaction. However nowadays were not threatened by animals, we are threatened by work and the surrounding environment hence, and stress is the expression of those negative thoughts and pressure we are experiencing every day.
Stress management is a vital aspect of life coaching goals, where we focus on the client to work on reducing the level of stress and anxiety to reach his or her goals in life.
So here are 3 stress reduction tips to reduce stress
1. Let go of your negative thoughts
In life coaching the focus is only on the client goals. The coach work with the client to identify the negative thinking pattern that increases stress and find the way forward to let go of those thoughts.
Now decide to release all the thoughts of yesterday and only be aware of now…. that right thought … that breath … that moment. Take three very deep breaths and slowly release each one.
At the same time, feel every concern, every problem, and every unresolved moment begins to dissolve. You can process them later. For now, you should just be right now.
Now go to your inner quiet place. Step deep into a place where you feel at peace, then relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy the feeling of being one and at peace within yourself.
Take advantage of this special time and place to relax. Free your mind and body from worry, regret, disappointment, anger, and pain.
Think of an act, like rocking your baby, taking a brisk walk, raking leaves, and doing this simple thing. During this time, your mind is calm and calm, and you are in your inner place.
Practice this act of calm and quiet every day and you will find that you will accomplish much more. At the first sign of stress, return to this calm, caring place and start over until you have reached your inner place of calm.
3- Look after your physical and emotional health
The best thing you can do for yourself is to eat, drink, and rest – for your health!
Stress comes easily from not eating and drinking properly. When you do not get the number of hours you need each night, you’re just preparing yourself for additional stress.
Limit the amount of salt, sugar, and caffeine in your diet. Drink plenty of clean, pure water each day, and do at least one moderate exercise each day. It will give new life to your skin, your hair and nourish all your vital organs.
Take your time to breathe well! Take deep breaths with your belly to send pure oxygen throughout your body. Laugh then laugh again. It is food for the soul! Take the time to do the things you prefer. Engage in healthy, fulfilling relationships and work on issues that would erode your closeness to someone special.
When we are satisfied and lead a balanced life, everyday stress seems pale in comparison. We are better equipped to deal with the unexpected.
You can take control today! Isolate a single stressor in your life, then work on it until you regain control. At least a new hope!
